Our Children

The most difficult aspect of divorce is waking up in the morning without our children's smiling faces.

Sometimes a break from our kids is good for the soul to recharge and regroup as an adult. 

However, the reality is I miss them and long for those hugs and happy moments.  

I never discount the fact that kids are extremely resilient and are capable of more emotional change than we give them credit for. They follow our lead and are absolutely adaptable.  

We must remind ourselves our children will manage well in the mist of divorce, but they are watching how we handle ourselves.  They listen to our words and pay attention to our actions.

Aside from maybe one bad blow up fight in front of our children, (see: Powerless) My ex and I have managed to treat one another with respect in front of them.  As if we were still caring for them like we were married, but simply living apart. (See: Living Apart)

I am not sure how we do this.  Or really why.  I do recall, throughout our entire marriage, even when my ex and I did not get along, when it came to our boys, we were instantly aligned.   Our love for them trumped everything else.  They have become our glue.  I can only hope this continues as time goes on. 

We remind them that they are loved each and everyday.  We smile and wink and check in.  It isn't always easy, but our boys are fortune to have a good life with each parent.  

They are emotionally spoiled rotten living a new life with parents who are invested in their growth and well being.  Their lives are always more important than anything trivial we may not agree upon.

A piece of advice given to my ex during his first divorce is wonderful advice for everyone.

Love your children more than you hate your ex.