A Brand New Story

I have a cherished friend who always reminds me to remember my worth in life and in all situations.  She sees me for who I am and loves me wholeheartedly without judgment.  She allows me to cry and be vulnerable.   She intuitively gives me strength to admit it hurts, but assures me I will push through.

The day I knew I would tell my story was the day I let go of so much hardship. It was the day I understood my role, as a woman, who gave herself permission to feel for a man, without feeling shame for those emotions.

This was also the day my journey was coming to an end. I stood still and could see a path in front of me with awareness and understanding; what transpired over the last five months was to set me up for changing my perspective on how I go about my relationships in the future, both romantic and through my friendships.

I also discovered, on this day, that my emotional disconnect in this situation was not about me, but about the other person on his own journey. However dark that path may have been, I was finally able to break free of my fears that I was unworthy.

Sometimes people are not ready to accept certain love.  

They want it, but can not return it. 

Love and care is a very interesting dynamic.  We all want to be cared for, but our childhoods and how we are raised often define how we choose to accept love and care from others. 

It is scary to open ourselves up, for fear of judgement and rejection.  We have all been judged, but when we are committed to rising above that judgment, we find there is a space of clarity.  A space to allow peace of mind that overcomes all those fears of rejection.  

Once we reach this revelation, we can truly give of ourselves, and not care about the consequences of being hurt.  Certain people can do this naturally, but many of us need to work on this each day to find the simple joys of caring freely. 

The more we give. The more space is opened up within our hearts to accept other people's care.

Lesson learned: no break up or change of heart is a bad thing.  It gives us the strength to reflect and figure out how to move on to the next stage of growth. 

I was inspired to write this morning based on the words, "Remember Your Worth"

I gave myself permission to cry the tears that fall down my face to heal my heart.

I will begin with this: 

Sometimes a situation falls onto our lap and we can embrace it or walk the other way.

I made a conscious decision to embrace a situation, the timing was soon after my divorce was finalized.  The timing was relevant, as I was still not totally over my marriage breaking up. 

Opportunity knocked and I was drawn to it, like a moth to a dangerous flame. 

I did what I felt I needed to do, to care for another soul, without any concern for my own feelings or the level of hurt I may endure in the process.  I did so with the best of intentions.  I did so, because I felt it was the right thing to do, despite the complicated circumstances. 

I learned so much about selfless love without understanding the process until I reflected on my path.

I have a story to share.

It is one of care intertwined with hope.  A journey of understanding, tossed with deception.

This stage of my post divorce life is signficant, when I was most vulnerable to someone else's affection. 

I opened myself up to receive care, but also to give care without any expectation of what I may get in return.  

I opened myself up to getting hurt. I got hurt in a way I never understood existed.  

Being hurt is not sad or a bad thing. It reminds us that we are part of the human experience.  

If we cannot feel, we cannot love ourselves or anyone else.

If we never hurt for love, 

we will never find the best love.

Finding our vulnerability is a key to realizing our true authentic self.  It is an emotional tool for understanding what our hearts are capable of.

My story will unfold over the next 7 weeks.

Please read it with an open heart and an open mind, as this is what I choose to do throughout this entire journey.