Driving Off A Bridge

I was driving on a huge, monstrous bridge and in an instant I swerved and pushed right through the railing, down into the abyss, plummeting towards the water below.

In slow motion, I felt my car descend.  My thoughts were clear: I am going to die.  My boys will be left without their mother.  It was my only regret dying so young.  I am leaving them alone.

For a moment, I thought, maybe I will survive.  Although, I knew, from this height, there was no surviving the tremendous drop.

I DIE!

My next vision is in a semi underwater world.  Unusual evil, black and white characters were everywhere. The intensity of their thoughts were deafening. I was being judged - very harshly!  I discovered I was in Hell.  I knew it was a mistake.  I did nothing wrong.

But, we all have our perspectives don't we?

Yet, my circumstances, on the day I died, warranted my afterlife.

It has been two days since I had this dream.*  I awoke in a perplexed, confused state of non-reality.  Two days later and I can still feel the sensation of falling off the bridge, slowly, in my car, and thinking of my boys.  The understanding that my boys would grow up without their mother hit very hard.  It was THAT Real!!

I can still feel the judgment while being in Hell.  It was all about the covenant of marriage.  I had crossed the line and I was quite aware of this in my awakened state.

*(I had this dream last summer and wrote this piece at that time - I was unsure if I would ever post it live - here we are 7 months later - the timing just right.)    

I do not have guilt.  I do not have remorse.  I made my choices based good solid information.  And for me, that was all I needed.  

I ultimately researched what the dream meant.  The falling piece stuck with my core the most.  Being judged in Hell was secondary. 

This interpretation was most interesting:

"Because of this, it is thought by some that to dream of falling represents your fall from purity and suggests that you have strayed from your spiritual path. Perhaps you have cheated someone or misled another. One may have this dream as a sign that they need to check and make sure that their thoughts are noble before they act on them."

At first this could have been directed toward a friend I had just recently gotten involved with. (see: Two Worlds Collided).  I sat on these words thoughtfully and realized it was more about my friend's wife.  I  broke loyalty.  I went against my own core beliefs and betrayed a person who I truly liked and considered a friend.  We did not have a tight, strong friendship, but I always enjoyed time with her. I am sure, if she and I were closer friends, circumstances would have been very different. 

Regardless, I had no excuse and in the end, I disregarded her feelings and selfishly only considered my own.  I suppose deep down I do care and my subconscious reminded me never to take anyone or anything for granted.

These interpretations resonate as well:

"Driving a car in your dreams off a bridge can mean dark and sinister things in your future if you do not make adjustments."

"Bridges also symbolize a major change that will propel you to new levels of awareness or personal growth." 

Even with my warning dream, I continued down this path. I am sure I paid the price ten fold. 

These were my choices and I owned them.  

The next few weeks will be revealing, 

stay with me on this journey.