Two Worlds Collided

Early last summer, I attended a Birthday party for my friends' daughters.  My post divorce life was still fresh, I was finding my way and settling into my new normal.  I attended the party in a good mental space, never realizing this particular event would alter my life path, taking me on true soul searching journey.   

My blog had just taken off and I found divorce was occurring all around me.  People were drawn to me, popping up into my life with their divorce or soon to be divorce circumstances.  I embraced it and was open to talking to whomever approached me.  It became part of who I was, and I truly loved being there for anyone who needed it.

This day was no different.  A 'friend' in loose terms, was at the Birthday party.  He was in the middle of a marital crisis. I was actually shocked, as I'd known him and his wife for about three years and never thought they'd be dealing with divorce. 

My own divorce was just finalized that week. I received a hard copy of the filing in the mail that day.  I let it fall, slowly to the floor, as I walked out the door to the Birthday party.

When one door closes, another is sure to open.

As I listened to my 'friend' tell his story, there were a few uncanny similarities in what he and I were dealing with.  I let him talk, vent, unload.  I truly felt for him.  He was struggling, the pain and anger apparent on his face and in his words.  I heard him and offered, if he ever needed to talk, to let me know.  I was sincere in my offer and did not think much of it.  I was only being true to who I was.

Just another day on the divorcee path.  Putting one foot in front of the other.

Fast forward one week:

He took me up on my offer.  We talked over text and he opened up to me.  I never thought of him as anyone, but someone else's husband for all the years I'd know him. Over the years, we really never spoke much to one another.  I found him a bit annoying as he often complained about something or someone.  He talked a lot, and his social ques were off.  We had nothing in common and I was absolutely, never attracted to him in any respect.

So sometimes life throws us a curve ball.  And amidst our conversations about divorce, dating apps and being single together, we grew close, we learned we actually got along and we got along well.

I was very surprised, shocked actually!  

We stopped crying over our loses. 

We began laughing with one another.

 It felt easy. 

Could it be this simple?   

We connected effortlessly and than there was "a moment."  

We both knew when it happened.  

One evening he was all alone in his home and the reality of breaking up his family weighed heavy on him.  

He made a comment about needing a hug, he actually used the words: "I need a squeeze."
I joked: "Is there such a thing as an innocent squeeze?" My mind still very much in 'friend' mode.

He replied: "A Hug Silly"  as I simultaneously wrote, "Ohhhh, you mean a HUG." 

I instinctively tapped out: "Wish I was there." and he quickly replied: "Me too." 

And it happened, just like that.

In that moment, an Emotional Bridge was built.

We were no longer alone.  
We had each other.

We seamlessly migrated from friends to something other than 'just friends.'

Could we be something in the middle? 

I had suspected he had an interest in me based on his occasional comments, but after I discovered there was a level of care, the flirtation escalated.  We really were not sure what we wanted or what we were doing or why.  But, the question was clear, if we crossed that line could we still remain friends?

My expectations were limited. 

Let's keep it simple.

I felt he was 'safe' and I could 'trust' him.

When a man and a woman cross that friendship line, they can never get those free, easy, friend moments back.

And we crossed:

It went from: 

"OMG, what just happened? 

That was f_cking hot!!"   

To:

 'This is intense'

& Than

'What are we doing? We can't do this!' 

Discovering we had chemistry was one thing.

But, the intimacy we had both lacked in our marriages, came in tidal waves the first night we were together. We connected honestly. An energy filled the room that was hard to ignore. 

I was stunned, my mind literally blown.

I had always told him, 

"I didn't know.  

I didn't know this would happen."  

It got complicated with feelings and things even got a little weird.

In the world of post/pre-divorce, no one wants to get too serious too soon. 
And so the game of self-preservation began. 

However once we stepped down this road, it was difficult to turn back.  

Please remember, I knew his wife.  I liked her  and we got along, but we did not have a close friendship.  I was one hundred percent certain they would be separating and soon.  She was looking at places to live.  I had no reason to believe these pieces would not fall into place, and in my favor. 

Ironically, this was the last thing I expected to happen, and never in a million years did I ever see a romantic interaction with this person.  So, how or why it happened is beyond explanation, but that is what makes this story so interesting.

When someone catches you off guard we should pay attention.  I paid close attention to this person and his needs.  He was someone I never 'saw' until these moments began, and I could not figured out why I had always dismissed him.

I was intrigued and quickly invested in who he was and why I was suddenly attracted to him both physically and emotionally.  This is how this affair turned into something new for me and so I made a choice to explore it with a full heart and open mind.  

Listen to: Hold You in My Arms

Stay with me on this journey, it deepens on an emotional level I never knew could be.