Fragile : Handle with Care

Owning a time when we are not vulnerable, but still not 100% strong.  There is a place in between where we know we need extra care, a place of knowing when we are 'fragile.'

I define this emotion as knowing when we are sensitive and needing care from others. 

It can be care from friends or from people who magically pop into our lives or even strangers.  They provide something for us that we can not give to ourselves.  They are taking care of an emotional space that we often neglect.

I realized I was fragile after speaking with a gentleman who admitted to me he was still fragile from his divorce.  He knew it.  He identified he was in a transitional emotional space.  It made me evaluate my own current emotional space while traveling on business in California.

I would not have identifed with the word 'fragile.' However, someone new I met made me re-think this emotion. 

Being honest about how we are feeling about ourselves is most important to understand where we are at in our current life state.  Keeping close tabs on our emotional integrity is crucial.

I already admitted I was vulnerable after my divorce.  This allowed me to open myself up to a new person who in turn easily hurt me without realizing how vulnerable I truly was.  It was no ones fault, it was a circumstantial situation.

I realized after I got through that hurt that I was still not myself.  I was sensitive and needy of something, but I wasn't really sure what.   Then the word fragile surfaced right at the time someone new popped into my life.  This person instantly cared for my needs.  It wasn't really a big deal.  He brought me lunch and coffee and was sweet to me.  He complimented me with sincerity and gave me just enough attention without being weird or creepy.   He happily tended to my basic needs without expecting anything in return. I do not think I realized how much I needed that care until I received it. 

This person filled an emotional space within me with his actions and his words. 

After I understood this, I admitted it to him that I was also 'fragile,' like his divorced friend.  He understood and I believe he found it attractive. Maybe because I admitted it.  Maybe because he just liked me for me. 

He thought I was perfect as is and appreciated me so much he instinctively catered to me without fail.  I knew I needed to accept this.  I had been giving and giving of myself so much I forgot how good it felt to be cared for.  He filled me up and I felt whole again.  I believe in turn I gave him back something he needed.  I appreciated him for who he was and he was able to talk openly with me.  We gave to each other natually without thinking why.  It just happened.  

This exchange was not about being together as a couple, but more about kindness, mutual respect and care.  We naturally fell into each others lives when we needed one another.  We were on point.  He and I understood we meet with purpose. 

This reality for me opened myself up and gave me new insight on who I was as a person.

Ironically, I have a friend who identifies herself as being fragile after being hurt.  I had already uniquely identifed with her and am drawn into who she is.  She owns her sensitive side.  She is sweet and warm and open. She is someone I can talk to about these feelings and she instantly understands.  I relate to her so much more now because I have owned my own 'Fragile' side.  

I use to think being vulnerable or fragile was weak. Today I think it is a virtue.  A side of me I embrace and allow to shine.  What I am feeling is part of who I am and who I am is always ideal for this moment in time.  

What I give to the universe comes back,  and the more I choose to recieve the more I have to give.