The I Dos (the new version)

This Blog was taken down twice in the past month by the person I wrote about.  Apparently pulling photos from Facebook is unacceptable.  This blog was originally posted over a year ago.  Why these photos are an issue now is complicated.  Since this wedding, the husband died a tragic death.  

What the bride does not understand, was this blog was kind.  It was a positive spin on what was truly an extremely difficult time for both myself and those closely involved in this high strung wedding. 

I have revamped this piece.  Pulled the photos and added the truth around my niceties. 

The original context is in normal, italic font, my additions, with the raw truth, will be in bold font.  

I attended my first wedding since getting divorced, this past weekend.  It was the most interesting experience on many levels.  The wedding was beautiful and flawless, much like the bride and groom.

The truth was, I was still in a compromised emotional state. An ex would be attending the event with his wife.  I was told I could not take a date.  Not even a girlfriend.  

The interesting experience was the bride's behavior.  The wedding was beautiful on the surface, but we all knew the couple had underlying issues and history.  It was not all sunshine and flowers.  

My one reservation, as a divorcee, was wondering, will they love each other in 10, 20, or 30 years as much as they love one another on this beautiful day?  

Less then three months later the husband died due to an accidental overdose.  We all wondered if her emotional suffocation drove him to it. 

Could they love each other more?

The one unique perspective I had, as I watched these two amazing souls say their "I Dos," is I observed they both changed perspectives on their wedding day.  I could see it on their faces.

Something special came over each of them, and I believe neither one knew it could happen.  

She softened into her new role as a wife.  He became the husband he was truly meant to be.  The "I Dos" set a brand new stage.  

Their romance, embraced by family and friends, was real, alive with hope and anticipation of their brand new future together. 

The truth was she was a gigantic bridezilla through the entire thing.  I know this because I bent over backwards helping her plan things.  I did it selflessly.  However, her demands were relentless.

She deferred to me to explain to people why they were not invited.  Her invite list was exclusive, because she judged everyone.  I often wondered how he lived with her.  I often thought "What a bitch!"

Once I had committed to helping, I continued down this twisted path.  

We all got ready at my condo, before the wedding, hair and makeup.  Bridezilla yelled at all of us, in MY HOME, when her time table was crunched.  This always stayed with me, the moment she yelled at all the people who were there to help her. 

It set a tone, illustrated her true colors.  After all we did, she was ungrateful, selfish and nasty. 

How she spoke to her own mother was worse, she sounded like a spoiled teenager.  Her mother did way more for her over the years, especially during the wedding planning. This bride was the epidimity of an ungrateful soul.

I admit, after being married and divorced, I can not imagine ever getting married again.

  

However, I do believe in love and romance.  I am a true hopeless romantic at heart. 

That is true.  I do believe in love. 

I believe two souls can come together with a unique connection for the soul purpose of caring for one another's needs with true, sincere, unconditional love.  Caring so much, that they put their own needs aside to care for the other.  

  

They were not at this point. 

I doubt they would ever get to that point. 

Each person filling the other up with love, care and respect. 

Respect is a give and take thing.  I do not think these two truly understood one another and appreciated each other.  We all witnessed nasty behavior in public. When they fought it was uncomfortable to see.  

That love and care was not present the way two soul mates would share.  

It was not a match made in heaven.  

I believe this type of love exists. 

I believe my friends, who united in matrimony this weekend, possess this type of love.  

This was not truthful.  But, what was I going to write?  That we were all pretending?!?

 

It was a wedding.  That is what invitees do at weddings, they pretend.  

They pretend this marriage will conquer all odds.  Maybe it will last longer then the last one. 

My hope is they will always remember how their love brought them together and the beauty of their most romantic wedding day will be etched in their memories forever.  

When they are old and gray, I want them to look at the other with the same love and care as in the moments when they said their, "I dos!"

Sometimes love sneaks up on us when we least expect it.  It is easy and good and pure.  This particular couple did not come together easily.  Their struggles were apparent and real.  

It is the same story over and over.  

We show the world one thing.

Behind closed doors it is totally different.

Love is very precious.  

It needs to be nurtured each and every day.

I did not do this to be shitty, 

I did it to release the truth.  

This piece was originally a beautiful spin on a fairytale day. 

That was all it was, 

Make Believe.  

A fairytale.

What we all Hope COULD be. 

Since the original piece was pulled down twice, purely out of spite, I decided to correct my words and make them right.  

The truth hurts.  

However, the truth will always set us free.