Court Room Catastrophe

Co-parenting: 

My ex and I do this well, it is probably the only thing we do well together, we do it so well we have never stepped foot in a courtroom.  

I contribute this to my easy nature, especially considering ex was not this fortunate with his first ex-wife.  

I have a friend. 

She is not as lucky.

Her daughter's father is not nice.

I say this passively.  I could use harsher words, but the opposite of nice is mean or cruel or bad.  I will leave him simply as "NOT NICE."

I have not encountered a situation where one person has a vendetta against another human with so much hate that they will do anything; lie and manipulate a situation, simply to inflate themselves in a court room.

It is chaos.  It is nonsense.  

It is insanity.

For all my divorced parents or parents working to co-parent, my best advice to EVERYONE: Maintain respect for your  child's other parent, regardless of your personal feelings towards them. 

Being a parent is difficult enough, but parenting with a person you once cared for and now do not, brings a plethora of challenges.

How we manage those challenges is crucial.

Crucial to both your child and your own well being.

My girlfriend, however, on the luck of the draw, got a bad seed. Let me begin by telling you the things she is dragged into court about:

Her daughter's phone. 

He said - she said incidents.

Whether or not she followed protocol, to a tee, in the parenting agreement.

Which Parent Coordinator to use and how much to pay for said Parent Coordinator. (As he is incapable of adulting directly with my friend)

He takes her to court over petty issues and expects her to pay his court fees.  She can not afford a good lawyer and often gets stuck with rulings against her, which often include paying his court fees.  

My girlfriend busts her butt working 3 jobs to pay his legal obligations over issues he makes up in his twisted mind.  It boggles my brain, so much, that I am left without words to help her.

I watch her emotional struggle on how to cope with these issues.  She has no recourse.  She has been through multiple lawyers, has also represented herself and still finds zero relief from the harassment.  

Ironically, my ex is a lawyer.  I often thought he would help her, out of the goodness of his heart, for the sheer reason she has always been a trusted and loyal friend. 

I thought wrong on many occasions.  All she needs is one person to fight her legal battle with passion and care.  Unfortunately, it costs too much money for "these type of lawyers."

My friend's ex can afford more than his fair share of legal room drama.  Maybe he sleeps better at night thinking he stuck it too her one more time in court.

He is the one who cheated on her while she was pregnant with their daughter.  He is the one who choose their circumstances.  Why he feels he has any battle to fight is an interesting tale.  One I may never understand.

My few encounters with this man, were one of dismay.  His energy is negative and low.  He chooses to fuel his life with negativity, spitefulness and hurt.  His life choices and my friend is his target.

Perfect example is the screen saver he put on their daughter's phone that he purchased:

My friend does not provoke this situation. As she and her 'ex husband' get along flawlessly.  She has 2 older children with him and they have never had conflict, not once. 

The one innocent person being harmed is their daughter. She is learning through actions,  and actions speak strongly.  She is a strong and wise beyond her years at 10.  She knows nothing different than her parents being split. I often wonder if she will choose a man very different from her own father, knowing what she knows. 

Do not be the person who has a vendetta.  Look deep within.  

Let it go.  

Let it ALL go. 

HATE is a miserable emotion place to hold in a head space. Replace the hate with compassion and understanding.  Let the anger dissipate and  Lead the ugliness away.