The Situation

My Situation : The Situation : A Situation

I am NOT speaking of the Jersey Shore reality show.

I am speaking of the precarious time when a couple wants to get divorced or one person wants out of the marriage, but circumstances have prevented the split to be official or finalized.

This is "A Situation."

The time and space between two people where they have not experienced a true separation.  Emotionally they are desirous to move on with their lives, but physically they have not been able to pull the trigger.

I have heard these words spoken often:  "If only my  'My Situation' were different or easier."

Often times, one or both parties have begun seeing other people.  This creates for complications within the process of separating.  However, it truly illustrates the need to push forward with a divorce. 

How do you move on, 

when you have not physically 'moved on?'

I personally lived about a month in 

"A Situation." My ex and I made sure one person was home to care for the children if the other made plans.  He already secretly began dating his current girlfriend.  

I, however, was still wrapping my brain around being divorced and trying to understand how to create a brand new life for myself and my boys.  I clung to my friendships and spent time with those who cared for my well being. 

Living independently after deciding to make a break is extremely important for emotional wholeness.  People change and find a side of themselves that may not have existed prior to the marriage. Especially, if children had been added to the mix.

Living apart from your estranged spouse adds a layer of freedom and a shift in mental dynamics that everyone should embrace for the good of all involved. 

Living independently 

stirs emotions 

that need to be stirred.

Living independently 

elevates an awareness 

of postive change. 

It will at times feel uncomfortable, but once you feel and release those (very normal) emotions, it opens up a crisp, new awakening of true self and confidence.

It may take, weeks, months or an entire year, but no matter how long it may take, the situation will get easier and better.  With the right attitude anyone can move forward gracefully.

• Are you in the middle of "A situation?"
• What is holding you back?
• Are these really obstacles?
• Why delay the inedible? 

Separation is scary. 

It shatters security and an emotional safety net. 

Breaking the emotional, marital bond in order to change 'the situation' is necessary and worth the risk.

I speak based on experience.  

Freeing our minds of the institution is tricky.  Committing is hard, uncommitting can be harder.   

How will you decide to move forward? 

Never let fear prevent the best part of your life to unfold.  The fear of loneliness fades once the dialogue changes in your mind.  

You'll never be alone when an entire new world of people and friendships has opened up for you.  

This type of Freedom is unprecedented.