Chosen Family

Sometimes we take our birth family for granted.  They are there, in spite of our differences.  They are there no matter what we do. They are our family, they understand us to a fault, and we love them, even when they drive us nuts.

We fight and we disagree, but they are our family forever. 

I grew up in a large Italian family.  We care relentlessly, we give tirelessly.  We are in one another's business. We love one another no matter what someone does or says.  This is what family means. You stick together no matter what.

I choose to leave my 'birth' family in 2002 after living through 9/11 in NYC.  It was a difficult time for me.  I cried for days and days, feeling a wide range of emotions, including fear, sadness, and pain.  I felt helpless and hopeless.  I was scared, so scared I jumped at the chance to move away.  

I left everything I knew and loved behind and relocated to Dallas, Texas, as that is where my journey lead me.

Since than, years later, I have learned the meaning of having a 'chosen' family.  The people in your life who are there for you, and care for you, because you chose to have them there.  You chose to be there for them.  These are those friends you can depend on, share your life with, share your children and common interests with.  

This is a precious and special type of family as you can decide why you want them in your life. 

You care because you want to, not because you are told you need to. 

I learned something valuable this weekend.  When you lose a member of your chosen family it feels different.  There is a different sense of loss.  There is a piece of your life path, a puzzle piece in the journey, that is gone.  This person was a part of your life with intent.  This person had a valuable place holder in your life.  

When a member of your chosen family dies, no matter how deep the relationship was, it signifies a loss you intended to experience.  It hits on a different emotional level not anticipated.  

I also learned, the friends who share the loss have a common bond, bringing the chosen family together.  Those bonds are forever secured, tighten over that loss. It's a discovery like no other.  

The town I currently live in, has a special dynamic.  There is a circle of people, intertwined in the workplace, at the elementary school and through friendships that have come together for one another.  It is unlike any other place I have lived.  Considering most of us have not grown up here, it's a beautiful synergy.  A stage strategically laid out.

Life is short, find the beauty in each and every  day. You never know when life will catch us off guard.  You never know when you'll experience a dynamic shift in your current reality.  Take no one and nothing for granted.

 The only thing that is a guaranteed in life is change.  

Who will be there for you when things get difficult.  

Who will you be there for?