Losing A Child

When a mother loses her child there is no other emotional pain that can compare to it.

No other death in her life will ever be as devastating as the loss of the life she grew within her womb for nine months, a life she nurtured, protected and cared for in the years that followed.

Every Mother's worse fear is to lose their own child.  The simple thought of anything happening to their baby is unbearable and incomprehensible.

I have had scary premonitions of losing a child, even before I gave birth to my own children.  It brought me to tears each and every time, as I pushed the thought far from my psyche.

Many take for granted the magnitude of this pain when they have not experienced it first hand.  Some may dismiss a Mother's grief for something it is not.

I have known and personally witnessed a few women who carry the weight of losing their child.  Sadness does not even come close explaining the experience.  

Most recently, I had the chance to speak to and understand a mother who not only is struggling with losing her son tragically, but also with the ability to properly grieve. 

Through circumstances beyond her control she was pushed between a rock and a hard spot.  As the mother, of a son, who lost his life, she stood helpless in the midst of others who also loved and cared for him.  He left two beautiful children, a new wife and many friends who adored him. 

In a whirlwind of despair and chaos she was pushed aside and forgotten.  Her place ignored. Her role as 'the mother' dismissed. 

How could this be?

Who would forget?

How does this become a reality?

I am only an outsider looking in, yet the questions in my mind arose quickly, without doubt. 

I have pondered, how do situations like this begin and unravel so quickly?

This mother fought for answers on how and why her son died suddenly.

As she should.

She asked for her share of ashes.

As she should. 

She asked for meager belongings.

As she should.

However, she is left with nothing.

Why did this happen?

How did this happen?

How often is fighting to be right, out of fear, important?

When is doing the right thing, with compassion, most important?  

Regardless of circumstances, misunderstandings, misconceptions and misopportunties, it is never too late to do the right thing.

Actions.

Always speak louder than words.

This mother is first a mother.  

A mother of a child who lost their life.  

That is, by far, the only person whose voice should be heard. 

We all are capable of moving on with our lives, however, the heart of a mother, after the lost of her child, will never be the same.

We have ALL experienced loss.  It hurts and it hurts deeply.  Now, imagine that pain magnified, if this loss was the person you gave birth to?

It is unnatural for parents to experience the birth and death of their children.  It's does not fit into the cycle of life.  This is an unnatural pain. 

With love and care I pray for her healing and hope her child, who is now in spirit, helps to make things better in the end, for everyone and their spiritual growth.