Saving Lives

Her love life is in shambles, but she is a doctor and she saves lives.

She is calm cool and collective in the ER, yet when it comes to opening up her feelings, for the man she cares for, she can't. She won't. 

She stays mute and waits for him to come to her.  Will he ever?

What if she gets hurt.  What if she falters?  She cares deeply for one man, who is unable to give her 100%.  He won't make her a priority, yet she holds on.  

She holds on to hope.

Why do women hold on to these men who are emotionally unattainable? What is it about them that makes us believe we will be the ones they want to hold tighter, the one who will change their wary ways?

We get sucked in for no good reason other than something may feel right.  Something may sound right.  Something may seem different.

Yet, time and time again, it's the same game and the same story, simply sung to a different tune.

And here we are, left wondering, is there one better partner to put all the prior partners to shame?  Is there one perfectly good person to keep us satisfied?

The doctor, she has a new potential suitor.  He is good looking, he is interested, he is eligible.  He is willing to give and be there.  He is a good man. 

The doctor will not give him a chance.  

It seems, from my perspective, to be a combination of hope and fear holding her back.  Hope her old flame will resurface and fear she would hurt the new guy if he did.  

I also believe it is fear of opening herself up to someone new.

Why attempt something new, when the last situation failed miserably, leaving her wounded with unanswered questions.  They had a good thing, why throw it all away?

Why do men throw away a good thing? 

Why do they ruin a perfectly good, potentially amazing, situation for something unattainable, something crazy or something less than worthy?

Why do women dismiss the decent men who actually want our undivided attention? Is this how it all begins?  We finally give the 'nice' or 'good' guy a shot and in the end they still disappoint in one way or another?  Or are we the ones disappointing them?  Are we not what they thought?

Do we all transform and reveal our true selves, shrug our shoulders and think, is this it?

I wonder how the doctor's story will play out? Will she open herself up, will she allow the new guy into her heart? Will the other guy lose his positioning, will he lose his chance forever?

My personal story is, I have become indifferent.  I care less and less on what happens, I simply am in the moment enjoying whatever falls my way.  If it lasts, great, if not, that's fine too.  I think after getting hurt too many times, we get conditioned to not feeling much of anything significant.

 

I recently thought to myself, 'This one is good enough...for now. He isn't the best.  He isn't the worst.  He will do.'

There it is, the truth written so boldly, without apologizing, without care for anything other than throwing out our wish list in the universal abyss and laughing at what boomerangs back. 

Be fearless, be brave, but most importantly be honest about your intentions.