Staying Single

I have my single girlfriends, my married friends and my 'on the fence' friends.

I love talking to my 'on the fence' friends.

The are not necessarily single, but if you ask them, they are definitely NOT in a relationship. 

They are happy being in limbo, yet they are not looking and they are enjoying their 'inbetween' status thoroughly.

My married friends do not not necessarily have a hot sex life anymore.  It in no way means they do not need or want sex, it only means they have 'other priorities' and that's okay too.  They are always open to listening to what they are missing out on, if they were suddenly zapped into the single world. 

Single people tend to have some of the hottest sex stories.  (so I have been told)

  

Now, let's not forget the Single Ladies. They give me the best material, the most outrageous stories.  They are my bread and butter of blogging.  I, of course, have my own tails to share, but regurgitating someone else's life, is truly most enjoyable.

I can't say 'Single Ladies' without

This song running through my head

Especially when talking to the players.  I have a guy friend in DC who is the reason I have zero trust for men. I still love the shady bastard and I still maintain hope there are good seeds among the muck, but men have a way of having their cake and eating it too.

I personally think we are at our most creative selves being single and independent. We reinvent ourselves. We seek out the best of the best experiences, including who we spend our time with.

Once we begin to settle down, people tend to get complacent, some get lazy, or even bored. 

Others are seeking something else.  I write from experience.  What I have witnessed and what I have lived.

I must admit, falling for a person is exciting.  It's fun and mysterious.  It brings out endorphins that give us a natural high.  I love this space.  

It's the best stage of anything new.  

It makes us feel alive with zeal and zest.  

I love falling in love.  

Those happy, warm sensations that make you giddy with happiness.

I do not love the bored committed stage, nor the uncertainty, but I do thrive off the 'let's keep doing this and see where it goes'.  A guy who does not give me everything I want, but is still showering me with attention, will keep my interest indefinitely, as long as he is someone I vibe effortlessly with.

In the meantime, I will keep listening to my friends, I will keep finding the best of the best experiences.  I will be here for those struggling in their relationships or lack there of, as well as the ones who are in martial or relationship bliss.

It is all relevant and important. It is all part of our journey of self discovery. 

It never ends.

My best piece of understanding, regardless of where you are at in life is this:

If you are married, getting divorced, single, starting something fresh, being with a friend or lover or being alone.  Embrace these moments and be present in the importance of where you are. If you are happy, uncertain, hurt or sad, do not discount the significance of those feelings, they are temporary for as long as you choose.  And the cycles will reboot once again.

I have most definitely chosen my own happiness.  I do a decent job of maintaining this even when life throws me a curve ball.

The everyday joys always bubble to the top. 

This is hard for some, but if you're laughing and finding those joys in each and every giggle, we stay elevated.

Here's a story:

My oldest son spilled a glass of water while we were sitting in a restaurant yesterday. He was already on my last nerve being his energetic, high energy, boy self.  The word "please stop" has been in my most recent vocabulary lately.

By the time that glass fell over and water splattered all over the floor, I was boiled over and yelled at him, in the restaurant, for all in ear shot to hear me.  My son's eyes were wide and I instantly started laughing.

I didn't yell because I was really that upset.  I yelled because my energy was being compromised again and again with his boy antics. The moment I raised my voice, I
found it extremely entertaining.  I laughed because I just shocked those around me, I saw my son's face and I didn't really care that I grabbed some unneeded attention. 

The moment passed quickly, but I share it because it was a moment we all have had.  My laughter dissipated the entire situation and we all let it go.

 

The independence of being a single mom, allows me to navigate these moments as I wish, creating the memories accordingly.  It's never always easy, but I manage to live without one single regret.  

I can guarantee, my choices are always sound, being single only means being independent of our choices and never having to apology for our actions.