Love Your Kids More

When dealing with divorce the one best piece of advice I have heard is this:

"Love your kids, more than you hate your ex."

This perspective is the best to maintain at all times.  Mainly, because you can't change who your ex is, but you will always love your children.

I believe, if you always keep your kids best interests at heart, all conflict with the ex will eventually fade.

I have been on both sides of this conflict.  I have been the new girlfriend, the new wife and the ex wife.  I have seem the damage divorce does to children once they are grown. 

The damage is most apparent when parents do not get along.  Children can handle divorce, but the battles they do not comprehend.

The battle wounds of sparring parents run long and deep.  Children only know they love their parents.  

They do not want to hate a parent because you have been wronged by them.

Money means nothing to the child.

Time with the other parent does.

Those are usually the biggest conflicts.

One parent wants more money.

One parent wants more time.

Our children only understand their family is broken and they need to find balance, structure and emotional security regardless of your pain and sadness.

Think of your child first and be fair to the estranged parent.  

Maybe, occasionally, be kind.  

You may be surprised, that kindness could potentially be returned.

At one time you were in love or lust with the parent of your child and you actually found a way to make a baby.  

Remember the good and be the bigger person for your children.

Every now and again, you both may laugh together at how great or not so great your kids are behaving. 

What you would have done if you stayed married.