Void of Emotion (or finding the glue)

Have you ever meet someone who says,

"I'm done with relationships."

Or

"It's easier to be alone."

Or

"Or I'm so set in my ways, I don't think anyone would want me."

Or

"I'll probably be alone forever."

I have heard it all. 

I have seen so many people try to be with someone and then give up the moment things get hard or uncomfortable.  There are all the red flags, doubts and the grass is greener mentality.

I have thought to myself, would I rather be "Void of Emotion?" or "Feel all the spectrums of a meaningful relationship?"

What does that mean? 
What does that really mean? 

Let's start with this.  Have you ever seen an elderly couple together, but not talking? They are present with nothing to say. 

I have often wondered if they still care or are they still deeply in love? 

Were they ever in love?  

Truly, passionately, in love?

 

A girlfriend of mine told me I needed to write about all the stages of marriage.  How the crazy passion early on changes and shifts into something different and new.  Eventually people settled into a comfortable place.  You know you won't break up, maybe you thought about it at one time, but you stuck.  

The love is like glue holding the relationship together even in the worse of times.

I believe it's harder to find two people who continue to work at keeping the glue sticky. 

"How deep is that love?"

How deep are two people willing to go to get to the stickiest of glue to keep the relationship or marriage strong and tight?  Without any doubt that anything or anyone will break that powerful seal of togetherness.

To emotionally find debt with a person you need to have a level of fear that you could lose them at anytime.  Fear of commitment turns into fear of being hurt and ultimately fear of, 'is this person capable of hurting me?'

We stop feeling or turn our feelings off due to these fears.  They prevent us from reaching new levels.  

We tend  to be so wrapped up in the fears of rejection, (because it does hurt to be rejected,) we stop taking chances.  We stop making an effort to get attached all for self preservation. 

We ultimately become: "Void of Emotion."

We all know this is unhealthy.  It ultimately starves us from our basic human needs of intimacy and affection.

Anyone who knows me, understands, I'm anything but, "Void of Emotion."

I can be overally loving one minute and fiery the next, which I have learned to tame over the years with maturity and age.  It's a range of emotion that I much rather feel and process, as the latter would be to feel nothing.

Why feel nothing when life is so short.  Why not give your heart (a muscle) a chance to do it's best work and put yourself out there to feel something?

Anything? 

To really feel something larger than life? 

I would never be where I am today if I didn't take chances.  If I didn't trust my gut and keep moving forward, I would have regretted many things.  

For example, I would not have my children today if I didn't take a huge leap of faith getting engaged and  married so quickly.  I have zero regrets.  In the process, my boys are learning powerful lessons. 

When we listen to our heart over our head, we are steered in miraculous directions. 

This is what gives marriages longevity, if the love is still apparent and real.  That's all it takes to keep from that divorce path.

When a relationship fizzles out and the passion and love is truly gone, there is no need for that sticky glue, it is time to reevaluate your choice in partners.  

Mainly because humans change with age and we tend to want different things in life. 

  

When that person's touch no longer feels soothing and comforting, it may be time to make a change. 

However, if you look into that person's eyes and see your best friend, your lover, your partner in life, and you know in your heart the love is real and mutual, it makes no difference what you are disagreeing about, you'll always push through with that glue. 

That sticky glue of togetherness.