Repeating the Past

Ever feel like you are relearning the same lesson again and again?  However, the lesson changes into something more complex.

Like the mathematical problem that has five variables instead of one.  Each variable allows the next to solved. 

No one person is ever an accident.  Each person who enters our lives, be it for good or evil, is still relevant and significant for our journey of growth.  

Occasionally, the most difficult people, teach us some of our most valuable lessons in life.

I know this, as I can be a difficult person.  

I, at times, am the teacher.  I am also the forever student.  I will take as much learning as I need to turn around and share those lessons with someone else. 

It's the mastery of life we take for granted. 

Continuing to better ourselves, while also comprising ourselves for others, is delicate and intertwined. 

Gauging our emotional state and our understanding of the outside world can be challenging at times.  What people say vs. what they mean or feel is different. I have learned the most interesting things a person has to share are never said.

I often find myself involved with men based on some aspect of their personality I wish I was more like. 

There is something about them that pulls me in and makes me what to stick.  The rest of them could be total shit, but that one thing keeps me interested for longer than I care to admit.

I use to generalize and say I move from bad boy to good boy, back and forth.  The bad kept getting badder and the good, way too good. 

I adore the guys with game.  The ones who don't even realize they are playing, yet they play so well.  I like the guys who do what they want when they want without apology, yet I still demand their attention.

I like the challenge.  The passion.  The chase.

Just as they do. 

What happens when you both realize it is more then just fun and games.  What happens when their is an opportunity for getting hurt?

When there is something deeper, there is always a lesson.  It's never about forever with the tough relationships, its about the journey and the self realization, that the challenge was with purpose. 

The games were really never to be won, but to be played well.  To be played as if their was an audience.  

Like that play with an ending no one ever expects.

This is how our lessons change from childhood to our adult years.  If your life is complacent and feeling void of a thrill, you need to find a new lesson.  Interact with new people or find a new hobby.  Put yourself in uncomfortable situations, and ask yourself why do I feel different now?

I love meeting new people, however, I'm always thinking how can I enhance this person's life?  And will they enhance mine?  It's amazing how easy people will open up and share and be vulnerable if you allow them to.

I recently opened myself up to one of the most interesting individuals I have ever meet.  I'm still trying to figure out the whole purpose of this part of my journey.  The fact is, I have never needed so long to truly see and understand someone.  The shift and change of their emotions, moods and thought process is unpredictable and intriguing. 

These are the unknown variables that need to be solved.  I'm just unsure if they are negative variables or positive variables.  I continue to do my research to truly understand the solution and outcome.

As we move forward in our lives, never question people's motives, and remember there is purpose to the chaos. Give yourself permission to grow and learn the lesson.