A letter to Anonymous

I love getting Anonymous comments.

It simply makes me wonder who took the time to communicate to me under the fearful vail of secrecy.

Who have I struck a cord with?  Who have I possibly hurt or pushed beyond their comfort zone?  Why do they feel they need to voice their opinion under a cloud of secrecy?

I received 3 comments (now 4) (wait now many) on my blog, from 3 weeks ago, regarding my treacherous, abusive, relationship, that apparently I can not let go of.  (Read it and comments here) 

It seems, "Anonymous" knows more about my mental well being, and has shared opinions on a situation they were not involved in.  And then it just got out of hand...... (A big Thank You to my supporters who kept perspective by the way)

"Anonymous" has either been lied to......

Or "Anonymous" is Anthony and his pathological lying is dripping with apathy.

Regardless,  I'm not surprised...nor stupid.

Please form your own opinions as I continue....

Allow me to elaborate.

Whomever wrote these comments is obviously someone in Anthony's Universe.  

There are so many details, they are well versed and this person is clearly brainwashed on the facts and turn of events.  However,  this person is also afraid to reach out to me personally, as they choose to hide behind anonymity.

Please Reveal yourself. You've taken the time to stalk my FB page, feel free to message me your insight at anytime. Talk to me.  Ask me questions.  Understand the truth before casting judgments.

I have suspicions on who this could be: 

It truly sounds like Anthony's choice of words and if it is him, I feel this is the appropriate response:

'You know my kids saw you throw my work laptop, hair dryer and expensive hair straightener out of your garage.  You did NOT 'place them outside.'  My clothes were also thrown outside, as the bags were upside down when we pulled into your driveway.  You were unstable and irate. Over what? I have no clue, another manic episode for the play book. 

I have never broken into your home.  This is also a blatant lie.  

I left, walked out on YOU, multiple times, only to be sucked back in with the "I love yous" and "Miss You" bullshit.  Your obsession and normal manipulation to get me back into your life was circular.  Being friends was never an option.  You always, literally, pushed for more' 

I must have been "Psychotic" for continuing to take you back. I loved in vain, and I did my best, never understanding the bigger picture.

Why is there never any remorse, only blame? You have never taken any responsibility for your actions.  That is a clear description of true Psychopathic behavior. 

Instead you post these lies and obscenities.  #justice4Bahor?  Lord help your soul.  

Everyone knows who the drug-addict is, and it certainly is not me.  Take an iota of responsibility and own your poor choices.  Stop placing blame!!!

As far as my 40 something year old 'girl parts,' I don't have any complaints from real men who are younger than you.  You're kinda old and fat for my taste anyway. (Oh, and totally selfish in bed) Back at ya!

Name calling at the pool is certainly, in no way, "Letting it go!"  Nor is sending cruel emails, and posting comments 3 weeks later.  Your big mouth provoked this.......Take your own advice.  

This is a train wreck that people cannot turn away from, so keep posting crazy comments and I will continue to take your life public, there is so much more untold truth. 

No one really cares about you or your life, but they will read and they will wonder.  They may laugh and think, damn "That dude is F*cked Up!' 

What you fail to get through your stubborn, harden soul, is I did care at one time, but you did not.  You care for no one, which is why you will have no one who will come to your rescue.  

Not One Damn Soul!

I have just gotten started. Read on.....my anonymous "Friend":  

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lf this is his mother who wrote those comments.  (I find it unlikely - but it makes for good writing) 

I feel this is my reply:

You enable your child. I heard him disrespect you continually on the phone, how could he ever know how to respect any woman in his life?  

He is tormented from when you told him, 

"I wish it was you who died, not my other child."

You were most likely the root of his drug abuse as a teenager, the abuse that still continues.  He was a juvenile delinquent. You allowed the cops to take him away after a family feud when he was 16. That is HIS story.  

To this day, he still speaks of how his family failed him. I listened to many accounts of his volatile childhood. I believe something terrible happened to Anthony.  My guess is some deep seeded mental, physical or sexual abuse. His pain and scars apparent, he in turn inflicts pain because he possesses pain.  He has no comprehension on how to cope with basic every day life. He feels nothing. He needs help.

He has threatened suicide often, especially after excessive drinking.  He is truly one of the most unstable individuals I have ever met.  His problems are never his own, they begun at a very early age. I listened because I cared.  I paid attention because I had once loved his damaged soul.  

Something is very wrong with his emotional well being and it stems from childhood. He did not feel safe, nor loved......I was there far too long helping him and his daughter. I did my best. You should be thanking me taking him in, caring for your child and your grandchild, selflessly. 

He is a child, raising a child.  He needs help, before something unspoken happens.  

(To start, he needs to strap his daughter in her car seat ALL the time.)    

Do not listen to his lies and manipulation.  You know he can not tell the truth, he never did.  You raised him. You know the havoc he can and will create.  He needs help.

Why have you not taught your child empathy? To forgive and be kind?  I say this, as my boys are warm and loving, not the monsters Anthony portrayed to you.  Your son needs help!

I promise, I am not powerful enough to ruin his life, he has already taken this task upon himself.  

His actions speak volumes.  

Instead, you listen to the lies, and tell yourself he is never at fault.  

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If the comments are from his new girlfriend. 

I would handle accordingly:

You too will witness his relationship ADD. He will love bomb you and make you think you are the only person in the world that matters.  He will impress your family with his boyish charm and fancy job title. He'll brag that he's a cyber security genius.  He may even send you screen shots of his income to keep your attention.  Do not let that fool you, he is an excessive spender and can not manage his money. 

The moment you start to care, he will coyly take it all away.  It is only about the chase for him. You will be left wondering what did you do wrong? You will think, "Where is the sweet guy who wooed me?" "Where are my 'good morning beautiful' texts?"  "When did we stop cuddling?"

He will conveniently ignore you when things get too serious.  But, only after he says he wants a relationship. He will call you his girlfriend, or he'll want you to move in.  He may even bring up marriage or having a baby.  Beware!!  He will paint a picture of a future together, but then he will disappear.   

You may be in the same room as him and feel invisible.  

He will get bored or dismiss you or both.  

He will date or text other girls, he is always on the hunt for fresh, new P.  (TBH, I believe it has a lot to do with those gay tendencies and he has something to prove) When those 'girls' are fruitless, he will probably come around again, as if nothing has changed.  He will be sweeter and make you feel amazing again, only to begin a brand new cycle, but this time the highs will be higher and the lows will be lower.

He will cling to you, as he is petrified of being alone. Do not mistake that for love or care. 

He will give himself to you in fleeting moments, but it will always be meaningless, as he has zero ability to love or care.  He will never want to know how you feel or what your desires are, he will only focus on himself and his own needs.  Watch and learn, time will make this crystal clear.  6-8 weeks is about all he can give before a version of his devil emerges.  

He will start absurd fights, he will degrade you, he will make it look like it is your fault.  He will make you feel like the crazy one.  You will always be the problem.  He will NEVER say he is sorry.  He will text the most foul things, his anger and hurt will seep out like the devil's blood.  

He will suck the life out of you little by little.  Be Warned.  It never ends well.  I have seen too many women get tangled in his web only to be left to die after they have nothing more to give.  

I know all this too well.  The cycles are apparent. They become predictable.  

He is incapable of loving you. His emotional growth is stunted.  The more you want to believe he could, the more he will prove he CANNOT.  His words are empty.

You are most likely a goodhearted person, with a positive energy, the perfect fuel source for his dark, hungry soul. 

If this poor excuse for a man has harmed you, take time to speak to his ex wife.  She will most certainly validate and align with your dazed and confused experience.  She understands. Yet she is trapped for their daughter's sake.  She is not crazy.  She is stuck in crazy.  A pit of despair and destruction and all she wants to do is protect their daughter. 

Regardless of who has written those comments, the point is, I have provoked emotion and feeling and caused pain on someone.  That was not my intent.  My goal is to educate, validate and breathe understanding.  (This is not about me - it is about preventing future harm)

It is important to understand, that although I have felt much pain and sadness while involved, I vowed never to let that pain define me, instead I will rise above and help those who care to understand the truth. 

My reply in general to 'Anonymous,' please get your facts straight before passing judgment and understand why this relationship failed, and why it is so important to be transparent. 

It is most definitely not on me, as I have had conversations with Anthony's exs and our stories align, they are exactly the same. Never was there a normal relationship, never was there a clean break, despite good intentions.  The harm was too great.  No one should suffer at the hands of Lucifer.  

What are the chances that all his exs would be 'crazy nut jobs' with the same exact experience?

The common denominator is Anthony

He failed repeatedly. He failed me, his ex wife, his daughter, his mother, his brother, his sisters, numerous girlfriends and now I am 100% sure he will fail his current girlfriend.  I feel bad for her.  (She needs to Read This before it's too late)  

If she is lucky, she will tire of his self-obsession.

I am not a psychopath as I have feelings and I encompass empathy.

Maybe the true psychopath is the one who wrote on my blog in the 3rd person.  

Please see a doctor and get the proper mental evaluation. It would serve you and your family well.  Your daughter deserves a stable caregiver and father.  I pray for her well being everyday.  

Please do not try to defend him. There is no defense.  

Say Hello to Karma. 

She said to Have A Nice Day!

This one's for you Anthony Bahor:  

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yP5bEnJBx2k