Childhood Trauma

Our upbringing sets the foundation for who and what we are as adults.

What we experience in our youth is significant to who we are as adults.

Whether we were suffocated by our parents or set free, our values and how we cope with life is determined by our childhood perceptions. 

 

No one can deny that. 

There are happy moments, but there are also unhappy moments.  We tend to hyper focus on our unhappy moments.

Why is that? 

Our emotions create memories, our memories form patterns and mold our human experience. 

When does our childhood experiences affect our day to day existence? 

Coming to terms wih our inner child is extremely important on how we navigate our adult lives.

We may have been abused as children, physically, emotionally or sexually.  We may have simply been unhappy.  The reason unknown.

How does this affect who we are as adults? 

How does this change our perspective on life?

Dig deep.  Dig extremely deep.  What are the most significant childhood memories for you.  What changed you to the core?

We all have moments that stay with us.

We all have moments that define our us.

Why are certain moments pivotal and others forgotten?

What memories changed our path?

This is important to understand.  Imagine going back in time and talking to our younger selves and telling ourselves, 'It is going to be okay. This moment does not define who we are.  This moment will pass.'

What IF we could go back in time? 

What IF we could reassure our younger selves?

Life will get better, it will be easier and you will maintain control.

Unfortunately, we can't save ourselves and many of us stay stuck. Stuck in a past state of fear, uncertainty or anxiety and we never move past those defining moments.

We never overcome those childhood traumas. We never shred those childhood fears.  They become part of who we are.  

The darkest moments of our past create chaos in our minds, the thoughts and words play over and over in a whirlwind of despair, forcing us to stay in those moments of weakness.

Have you ever met someone who acts unreasonably young, as a teenager or as a child and you can't understand why?

They were traumatized at a very young age and never became capable of moving past their experience.

They are stuck.

They never grew, their growth was stunted.  

It's sad, but real. Many adults are coping, barely hanging on, seeking happiness and contentment, but never finding a safe space within. 

The scariest moments in our childhood define us, change us, remind us, to live in fear.  

We push these memories into the deepest, darkest, depts of our psyche and let them haunt us for our entire lives.

They dictate what we will and won't do.

The more hurt, the more we tend to hurt or retreat into our hole. It's a cycle of of inner turmoil.

I have distinct memories of having my mouth washed out with soap as a child, by my aunt.  She was a no nonsense aunt.  The older sister of the father who raised me.

Was I an ornery child? 100%, but I was also a child who didn't have either of her biological parents growing up.  I was lost and confused and disconnected from the parents who raised me.  I had a conflicted childhood.  It's okay, but it changed who I became from within at my core.

I asked my boys about their current childhood. My oldest told me he felt he was at an 8.5 out of 10.  My youngest said he was a 5.  (He claims recent events in the past year traumatized him)  I bet he'll find the lesson as he is very aware.  

I believe their childhood is safe and stable and they are incredible kids.  They helped a gentleman in a wheelchair today, when I wasn't around, and he tipped them both.  I know their hearts are in the right place and that's the most important piece.

Check your heart and check in with your inner child.  

It IS going to be okay.