Power Struggles

We all have power struggles. We deal with these everyday.

There are times we don't even realize we are in the middle of a power struggle.  Often we figure it out as we reflect on a situation or incident. 

What happens when someone abuses their power?  

i.e:

Parents 

Bosses

Police 

anyone in a position of leadership 

I have had bosses act inappropriately and had to figure out how to reject them without losing my job.  This was in my twenties before sexual harassment training was implemented in the workforce.  

I look back and think, how did I know how to protect myself? I also think, why did they think it was okay to make me feel uncomfortable?

I know better now, but how many women do not know it's okay to say "NO" and you never need to feel uncomfortable.  You simply walk away and do so without fear of retaliation.

It is important to feel safe. 

It is important to understand what is acceptable and what is NOT acceptable!

As a 22 year old accountant working my first full time job, I never expected my boss to make a pass towards me.  In fact, I'll never forget the incident. I was standing at the mail machine, sliding envelopes in one at a time.  My boss stood uncomfortably too close to me and made an inappropriate comment.

I knew he was wrong, yet I wanted to keep job.  I stepped away, change the subject and made sure he knew his advances were going nowhere.  

I didn't know a thing about sexual harassment at the time and I wanted to keep my job.  Gratefully, I was ultimately moved to a different office to help with a software integration.  It was much easier than dealing with an uncomfortable situation, I never needed to see, my boss, the womanizer, again.  

I had two other bosses insult me in similar ways.  By the third time, I knew how to handle the situation without feeling violated or uncomfortable.  It was laughable.  What made these old guys think I'd care to entertain them? 

This is when I discovered my own power as a female and how our power comes with setting boundaries and saying "NO."

I learned at a early age, power is an illusion.  We each have the ability to be strong and resilient.  

We all have the power to maintain control and not allow someone else to attempt to intimidate us with their precieved power.  

This is the thing.  Power is perceived. It is fabricated.  We are all on the same playing field.  Money, job title, gender or race doesn't change who were are as humans and as individuals.

No one should be forced or intimated or harmed in the gist of power.