The Sex After Divorce

One of the best aspects of divorce is being introduced to new sexual experiences.  This is by far my favorite reason to get divorced.  When the sex is lack luster in the marriage you almost forget how incredible sex can be with someone new.

Choose wisely, as I have learned, there are a lot of creepy guys just waiting to pounce on a worthy woman.  I personally, am not a fan of casual sex, I need that connection first,  but whatever floats your boat is all good with me.

When you find your Mr. Sexy, you can do all sorts of things and not ever worry about the who, what, when or why.  You can be as uninhibited as you choose.  

Outdoors in the rain, at two in the morning, near a brick wall, random parking lots, Jeeps, hell, maybe throw in a pink bed.  Anything goes when you are free to allow life to unfold.  

However, make sure your man has some special 'skills.'  I can tell you from experience, a man with 'skills' down yonder will be one to keep for a while.  Everything else will come naturally. Never settle for less.

As much as I was interested in being with someone new after 11 long years with the same person,  there was absolutely no way I wanted it to be a one night stand or with someone I didn't know very well. 

I did the dating apps (See: Tinder ) and I even tried Speeddating (see: Speeddating) but I truly wanted to get to know someone first.  I wasn't necessarily looking for a relationship or anything serious.  I just wanted someone cool to hang with that I was sexuality compatible with. 

Is that really asking too much?  How hard could my wish list truly be?  

Although, I am a New Yorker at heart, I have learned to be a patient person and was really in no hurry to find anyone in particular. I put my wishes out there in the universe and kept living my life.

Little did I know that person was already intertwined in my life.  Our circumstances ideal for both of us.  I was caught off guard, but apparently timing is everything and when opportunity comes a knocking you sure as shit better be ready to open that door and let him walk on into your life.

But, be careful what you wish for, because more often than not, those wishes will be fulfilled with unanticipated results.

And quite often you get what you want, but not quite in the way you'd expect.  Being caught off guard by a potential lover has happened to be more than once since my divorce, but I have to say 'a surprise catch' is so worth the excitement.  It's all about those new first experiences.  Enjoy them while they are still new and worthy.  

Although, be cautious, DO NOT confuse lust with love.  And if you do discover the lust is more, don't deny yourself the excitement of being exactly who you choose to be at the exact right time.  Be that person who takes risks.  Be that person who jumps at the chance to feel new things and discovers their sublime sexuality. 

Even if things do not work out, you will discover the memories are worth every last bit of the journey.

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But Be Cautious : Do not let lust over take your soul.

This is very important advice.  Sex after divorce is super hot.  You are like a virgin all over again, but with experience.  Do not let it rule your heart and mind.

Enjoy every moment of it and most of all .....

HAVE FUN!!

Everyone told me that!!  I listened.  I swear.

But I will admit, those lustful first weeks being with a new person can get very tricky.   Do not, I repeat DO NOT! misinterpret amazing, hot, incredible, OMG! I forgot how amazing it can be in the beginning sex with love or anything close to love.

Especially after having one too many cocktails. And especially if you both are experiencing the same new sex at the same time. 

It feels good because it should.  Do it as much as possible and as often as possible in as many places as possible. Screw the dating, just have sex and lots of it.  Your mind, body and spirit will thank you every day. 

And once the newness settles down look that person in the eye and decide, hmmm, do I want to see you outside of the bedroom?  Do we click on more levels? If it's a YES! than go for it!!! Otherwise, move on and start all over again. 

You just got divorced.  

Go treat yourself to someone special.